The Trade.

Drew has been addicted to his pacifier "paci" since he was born. He really had the type of personality that needed it. However, over the past year we have tried to do our best to restrict the paci in certain places, slowly taking it away, without him thinking that it was gone forever. At first he could have it whenever and wherever, in the car, playing outside, at the store, etc.

Before Ollie was born, we made the rule that Ollie would have all the orange colored pacis and Drew would have all the blue colored paci's as not to have them picking up each others. This definitely worked because Drew knows that he was not allowed any other color.

Mike made the rule fairly early on that he was not allowed to have it in the bathtub. We had some screaming off and on about that one for months. But, it finally stuck. No paci in the tub.

Then about a year ago, we took it away from him in the car. He was no longer allowed to have it in the car at all. That was a hard step, mainly for the driver. The screaming and tears were overwhelming, in fact, we gave it back for a long trip because it was too dangerous otherwise. As a driver, it is very hard to concentrate when you have a screaming toddler in the backseat.

Eventually, Drew was only allowed to have it in the house and nowhere else.

A few months later, we made a rule that he was only allowed to have it in the upstairs portion of our house. If he had a meltdown during dinner and said, "paci, paci", we said, "that's fine, but you have to go upstairs and you can't come down with it." He learned quickly that it was not allowed in the kitchen or dining room, etc. He would always leave it on the ledge of the stairs.

On occasion he would make it downstairs in the morning with it in his mouth, and he was usually the one that noticed he had made an error. He quickly would pull it out of his mouth and hand it to me or Mike.

Then he decided to give it to some of his friends before coming down, such as bear. Bear is always the most likely recipient of the paci. He has been the "chosen one" more times than I can name. Occasionally Buzz Lightyear would be the recipient.

Then, we said he could only have it in his room. Then, it was only at bedtime. We have been waiting for the perfect opportunity to take it away. He only uses it to sleep at night. I have been contemplating ways to get rid of this pacifier since he was about 1. He's almost 3.

Several of my friends have talked about the "Paci Fairy" who comes to get them, but honestly, I don't like that way of doing things because there isn't any closure for the child. It seems like a cop-out, like having someone else do your dirty work. I want to be genuine with my children and have a lot of open communication.

I have had other friends who have just taken it on a random night and told their kids to go cold turkey, and while this was a possible choice - it just seemed mean to me. It seems like there should be some prize for giving up their most treasured possession. It would be the equivalent of someone asking me to hand over my cell phone in exchange for nothing. I am not sure you would get a very happy person if this were the case.

So, for a couple of months I have been talking to Drew about how big boys don't use pacifiers, they are for babies. Ollie is a baby and he can have one, but Drew is a big boy. He constantly refers to himself as a "big boy." He loves this title. One night while watching Clifford before bed, he took out his paci and gave it to me and said, "no need paci. baby paci, me big boy." But then, that only lasted until he climbed himself into his own bed and then begged for it back.

This past week I had an idea. We were at Target one day after school. Drew was in a great mood. He was being so silly. He saw a Ligtning McQueen matchbox car and I thought to myself, here's my opportunity. I did what my mother always did with me; she bribed me. And, why mess with a good thing - when it works, it works.

In the Target on that afternoon, I said to Drew, "Drew, we can get Ligtning McQueen, if you give me your paci tonight. No more paci. Do we have a deal?" He said, "me get Queen?" I said, "Yes, but you have to give me your paci when we get home." He said, "Okay." I said, "Are you sure? You will not get your paci back." He said, "Yes." I said, "You understand, no more paci?" He said "Yes." Of course, he also had to include Ollie. Before leaving Target he said,"Ollie paci??" I said, "Ollie still gets to have his paci because he's a baby, you aren't a baby anymore - you're a big boy." He said, "Okay."

The moment we got home, we opened up the set of Ligtning McQueen toys that I agreed to buy. And that very night, he handed over his paci to his daddy. As a mommy, I was so worried that he was going to wake up in the middle of the night and ask for it, but it has now been 4 full nights, including one with a babysitter, and he has yet to ask for it. I think it's safe to say, we made a good trade.

Ligtning McQueen is my hero.